Dear Mushy,

Eleven days after I’ve lost Ann to a white vulture, you came. Actually, you came way back long. It is our love that followed through just recently. People shrug it off, the idea that I am able to perfect another love so easily. That is not very Lolito Go, they say. Yes, that is very mushy, I say. Somehow, mushy is a self-critical term of endearment, beside the fact that it is a derivative shortcut for mushroom. Our love like a mushroom, materialized from nowhere.

My friendster profile has never been viewed this often. In a span of two weeks, it already has more than 200 hits. Phenomenal indeed. How about you, are you selling well? Contrary to what many would like to believe, we didn’t want any hullabaloo. Tired hearts need not the public eye; we can make better use of the gloomy hours can’t we? You concentrate on photo editing, I’ll write poems, and songs. I understand should they cast doubts to our romance, for they themselves are guilty of some cheap friendster tricks every once in a while. Just look at the bulletin board. Look at how they title their inanities. If there is anything we are really guilty of, it lies on the fact that we are both proud of each other. We are both enough for each other, which helped us eliminate the troubles of picking six featured friends and arranging them either according to importance or feng shui. We only have each other for now, and we choose to proclaim that mutual exclusivity, which stirs some minor chain effect. As we expected, closer friends responded first. Some even went as far as rubbing their noses on the mushroom, inspected it closely, whether it is edible or not, natural or cultured. Inadvertently, this has come to test the sensibilities of our friends, especially in my case. Is it too much for them to ask me what ever happened to Ann? How did it go for us? Did we meet? Why not? Will I be okay? Is mushy just a coping mechanism? To fill an emotional cavity? It could have felt better for me if they let their concerns heard. I wouldn’t mind if they accuse me of making you up, at least they are concerned. For those who cared less, I will never be the same for them again. Never.

You have been what they failed to become as a friend. A human diary. You keep one of the most climactic chapters of my biography. Conversely, you let me inside your world where no one else had ever been before. A hostage then, a captive of your own doubts, you let me in to be an accidental negotiator, when all I wanted originally is just a solace in the jungle of your despair.

Our story is not unusual anymore. Especially when technology is now capable of bridging two bored, bitter or battered individuals in Paris and Timbuktu, in Samar and Kiribati. Nothing is out of reach. More especially when technology has made it possible for a kiss or a hug to be virtually felt through emoticons. Most especially when technology has given us the power to concoct as many personalities as we can for ourselves with a little help from Adobe magic seasoning.

A cyber romance is never guaranteed to last. Never mind lasting, just mind being realized. This love we have, only time can test. If after some years, when we are both professionals, and our paths will cross somewhere, and we still feel the same intensity of connection, then we probably should make a home: plants surrounding the perimeter, butterflies flutter in perfect cadence, our children marching to Mozart symphonies, their laughter thinning out into elemental hopes, dissolving into the air. Otherwise we stay friends.

Still, a lot of things can happen. Your seatmate in biology class could become your future love. I could still work some miracles to win my ideal girl, you know who she is. That separates us from other cyberlovers; we are not under the illusion that this love is invincible. What’s important is I can promise to take care of your heart, as much as you take care of mine.

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 14th, 2008 at 3:32 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.